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ADVICE TO HUSBANDS:
IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION TO EVERY SYLLABLE
YOU SAY, TALK IN YOUR SLEEP.
HI TO MY FRIENDS: I bet you sailed right through
THE MOST DEPRESSING DAY OF THE YEAR and didn't even notice it!
Yes, we recently
passed the “most depressing day of the year." According to a British
psychologist, it was January 22. By that date, he said, our New Year’s
Resolutions are broken and we have as yet failed to transform our
lives. The fudge is gone, but we still have the extra holiday pounds.
The Christmas bills have arrived, the days are short, the weather is
lousy. Especially in Britain. I hope you weren’t too troubled by the
above problems on the big day. Anyway, it’s over and getting all better
now as we head toward the, you guessed it, “happiest day of the year”—
June 22. (Oddly symmetrical, no?) Warm weather and more to look
forward to, upcoming vacations, beach, bike rides, long evenings outside
(covered with mosquito repellent).
That last little
scenario about the summer in hypnotic lingo is called an “age
progression,” an often-used way of getting us to think about the future
we want for ourselves, rather than the future we fear will happen. That
leads to the question of what we can do right now to bring that future
about. It’s predictable that when I talk about doing an age progression
in my Weight Management classes and my Going Smokefree classes, many
people recoil in fear. “Oh, no, please, not that!” They automatically
see their future as more of the same, getting worse and worse. I remind
them I don’t “go negative” in any kind of therapy. Negative doesn’t
work very well. (You should hear the stories people tell me about their
experiences with other kinds of weight and smoking “therapy”—being
forced to smoke a whole pack at once and other things too gross to
mention.) Much better to visualize a happy future, get it clearly in
mind, and then gradually fill in the in-between steps to get from here
to there. One of Milton Erickson’s most famous hypnotic anecdotes was
called “There are Many Ways to Get from Here to There.” Pick one and
go. -–Jay
STRESS: TEN
ENERGIES TO MASTER
We need stress in
our lives, otherwise we wouldn’t do anything. But when stress exceeds
healthy limits, it’s time to take a look at what we can do about it.
This is excerpted from the book “The Joy of Stress” by Peter Hanson. I
have used this information in my Learning Exchange Stress Relief class
for many years.
1. Have good genetics: OK,
it’s the only one not under our control, but it is important.
2. Sense of humor: If we
aren’t laughing every day, something is missing.
3. The right diet: Healthful
food, “real” food as opposed to from a factory, moderate amounts, 3
meals a day, eaten in a relaxed atmosphere, avoiding junk (soda, etc),
eating nutritious snacks, having a treat once in a while.
4. Alternate stresses:
Exercise burns off accumulated muscle tension and lowers blood pressure.
5. Realistic goals: Know
where you are going (the big picture), then set small steps and a
reasonable time line to get there.
6. Understanding stress and
its effects: This means monitoring your stress level and learning ways
to let it go (reminding yourself of words and phrases that soothe you).
7. Relaxation skills and
restful sleep: Dr. Hanson favors “power naps.” Learning self-hypnosis
is also helpful.
8. Thorough job preparation:
One of the very best ways to minimize stress, advance preparation and
rehearsal allows you to find happiness in accomplishment.
9. Financial security: Making
sure you have enough assets to get through disasters like the loss of a
job, insurance to cover emergencies, marketable skills to assure an
income, and enough money to enjoy life.
10. Stable home: If you
invest time and energy in maintaining a group of friends and a
harmonious family, your energy and mood will be nurtured each day.
A QUICK NOTE: Do you remember the
“IF—THEN” framework? We don’t have to do much of anything to eke along
in life, but IF we want a certain result, THEN there are things we MUST
do. That’s the definition of acting in our own best interest. Are you
on track?
Don't forget the
"guarantee:" if you have taken one of my classes, you can take the same
class again any time (except for the Hypnosis Training weekend
workshop). The content will be different because they
are always improving. You don't need to call, just be there!
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